A Song from Skyhold
by Chleima
Summary: Avalina Trevelyan is the Inquisitor and as hesitant as she is to admit it, she's falling for her Commander. Can she come to terms with her feelings and her duties or will she have to choose between them?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Cold air swirled around the camp as I sat by the fire and plucked a melody on my lute. The notes were sweet against the night. The air chilled my back while the fire warmed my legs, its light reflecting off the snow. My companions sat in the warm glow, listening as I sang foreign songs of triumph and love with my voice low and strong against the sharp air. The eerie silence as my last note rang through the air was rare. It was as if no one wanted to disturb some long forgotten ritual being performed for the first time in centuries.

My friends sat back, taking in the last remnants of song before Varric spoke. "Where does a rogue like you learn something like that?" He sounded surprised and I gave a menacing laugh before I began quietly strumming a sinister chord.

"Would you believe me if I told you that I was taught by an Orlesian bard while we spent eight months trapped on a Rivani pirate ship?" I increased the tempo of my strumming, "I had been forcibly conscripted and with my weapons stripped from me and with no escape once we reached open waters, I was stuck and had to make myself useful or be thrown overboard. Well, the captain of the ship turned out to be quite the musical connoisseur. He had hired a former bard to both protect him and play for him. She heard me singing below decks one day and asked that I perform duets with her. In exchange she taught me how to play." The flickering light of the flames bounced off the flat expressions of my friends and I sighed. "No? Damn. Okay, well the truth then. I took interest in music when I was young and was taught by a Starkhaven minstrel in Ostwick. Though that's not near as interesting."

Varric let out a chuckle of his own. "You wove quite a strand of fiction there however. Mind if I steal that?" I rolled my eyes and gave him an affirmative nod. Maker knew I was never going to write it down. Varric let out an amused sigh and I looked at him curiously. "You know Avalina, it seems like the more I learn about you the less I know. You slay demons, travel through time, take the mages under the protection of the Inquisition, face down a darkspawn magister and an archdemon alone, and now you tell us you can sing and play the lute. Tell me, is there anything you can't do?"

"If you ask my mother, I'm incapable of finding a husband. Oh, and I can't paint, do needlework, or most of that other stuff that _Ladies_ are supposed to do." I listed on my fingers as I rolled my eyes as my companions laughed. They knew as well as I did that I was no dainty flower and recent events hadn't exactly encouraged "ladylike" behavior from me, much to my distant mother's frustration. The fire cracked as a log broke within the flames and I sighed contentedly. This was my favorite part of being away from Skyhold. The open air and starry nights. No meetings or visiting nobles to impress. No daily missives from my advisors and tedious arguments over how to build a bridge or open a tunnel. Just me and a few trusted friends traveling and helping people. Out here I could think. Out here I was free.

I stretched and let out a yawn. My body ached from the days of travel and battle and it longed for respite. My eyes were already heavy as I stood and bid my companions goodnight. I was glad to be in an Inquisition camp where we didn't have to worry about setting a watch. Cassandra and Dorian both wished me goodnight and Varric simply raised his cup in a farewell motion. My limbs grew heavy as I entered my tent, knowing that sleep was near. With the last of my energy, I unbuckled my weapons harness and laid it carefully next to my bedroll. It did not take long for sleep to claim me.

I awoke the next morning to the chirping of birds and the clank of armor pulling me from the Fade and my dreams. The camp was waking up and it was time I did as well. A groan was pulled from my throat as I sat up and stretched my muscles, shaking the sleep from my body. My skin prickled as I left the warmth of my bedroll to greet the day. I strapped my weapons to my back and took a moment to stretch once more before leaving the tent. The Inquisition camp was up and scouts moved around with reports and supplies. I was the first of my friends to awaken and I took the time to saddle my horse and help some of the scouts move supplies and cook breakfast for the camp. I took a moment to experience the morning air and clear my mind of my dreams before my friends joined me. The longer I was away, the more I seemed to dream about a certain Commander and I wasn't yet fully ready to admit to myself what that might mean. As soon as we were finished with our breakfast it would be time to finish our journey back to Skyhold and all of us were ready to be home.

Once everyone was awake, it did not take us long to finish eating and preparing our mounts because we were all in a hurry to return to real beds and baths and walls. The road hadn't been kind to us and I could see the weariness in my friends' faces as we rode through the mountains. We casually shifted between light conversation and a comfortable silence. Dorian prodded me about my personal affairs. He had been asking for weeks if anyone had caught my eye. I rolled my eyes and shook my head dismissively as always before he began to describe his own appreciation for some of the soldiers that roamed around the keep. I tuned him out to listen to Cassandra and Varric bicker like siblings behind me.

The cold of the Frostbacks brushed my face as I shivered. It pierced through my cloak and bit at my skin in an invigorating, but harsh reminder of the power the elements had. The cold and snow surrounding us conjured familiar scenes of isolation and desperation. I shook at the memory of trudging through a blizzard as the frost bit at my fingers and my mind turned with the fear of dying alone where no one would find my body. I remembered the sharp air and the feeling of snow on my knees as blackness clouded my vision and a familiar Fereldan voice echoed in the distance and I fell into sturdy arms. The smell of fire snapped me out of my reverie and I held up my hand, signaling my party to stop and be silent.

These roads were not empty.

The sound of weapons being drawn behind me brought me comfort as we cautiously continued forward, keeping our eyes peeled and ears open for any danger that may have laid ahead. The smell of burning wood grew stronger as we came to a turn in the road and I barely had time to react as an arrow flew through the air, just grazing my cheek. Reflex took over and I took command.

"Get down!" I roared as I rolled off my horse and ran forward, pulling my daggers from my back. Cassandra's shout rang through the air as she taunted the bandits and I heard the squelch of flesh and blood as Varric's arrow pierced someone. Dorian's magic crackled through the air and raised the hairs on the back of my neck. My speed was my advantage as I rolled under the blade of a man and jumped up behind him to bury my blade in his back. I quickly looked around for another target and noticed someone coming up behind Dorian. I pulled a small knife from my boot and let it fly to land in the neck of his would be assailant. "Thank you!" I heard him shout as I cloaked myself and ran towards another foe. Maker take the souls of the poor bastards who thought raiding the road to Skyhold was a good idea. Varric and Cassandra were caught among a group as Dorian held barriers and set fire to more bandits. An archer stood on a hill taking aim at Cassandra and he was my target as my companions felled those around them. He was caught by surprise as I kicked up his bow and he loosed his arrow harmlessly into the mountainside. This one was faster than the rest of the company, quickly drawing a shorsword and blocking my strikes. We danced around each other, lunging and blocking, both of us getting in no more than minor cuts and scrapes on the other.

He sprang forward, his sword arching down. I caught it between my blades mere inches from my face. I ducked and slipped my weapons up to his hilt, spinning the weapon out of his grasp and across our battlefield. I kept low and maneuvered under his arm and behind him where I put my blades to his throat.

A sharp pain hummed through my left side as I drew my blades across his neck. I cried out and dropped to my knees. I could feel the frozen air on an open wound as the warm blood poured from my body, mixing with that of my foe in the snow. The bastard had had a blade that I didn't see. I could hear the battle in its final throes as my companions continued their fight. I pressed down on my wound desperate to stop the flow, blood continuing to stain the snow around me. I was losing too much and I could feel my head spinning.

"Inquisitor!" Cassandra shouted as I bent over in pain. My side was searing and tears were falling down my cheeks. This was not like any of the flesh wounds I had walked off before. She dropped to her knees beside me, kneeling in my blood to lift my arm over her shoulder. I yelped at the movement and strain as she pulled me to my feet and sat me on a nearby rock. "Dorian, can you do anything?" Her voice was tinged with panic as Dorian rushed to examine me. I felt the air change again as his magic probed within the cut with a burning sensation that had me choking back tears. Dorian held eye contact with me as he responded to Cassandra.

"I can only stop the bleeding. I don't know enough of healing magic to stitch this closed and she's already lost so much blood."

"Andraste's ass," I heard Varric say as I started to sway and my vision lost focus. The blade had cut deep. "What did he do?"

"I let my guard down—" I said angrily, panting trying to stay conscious "And he got a blade in me before I took him down." The wound was searing with pain that made it impossible to focus. "Dorian," I whispered, my own panic rising. "Everything is spinning,"

"Shhhh, I know Avalina. Just hold on while I stop the bleeding. This is going to hurt." He wasn't wrong. I clenched my teeth and my tears renewed as his magic burned under my skin. My head grew light and my eyes heavy.

"I want to sleep." I moaned as the world swirled around me.

"No no no no no," Dorian stammered as he gently slapped my face, "You can't go to sleep on us. Keep talking. I need you to stay awake. Tell us about your mother. You talked about her last night. I'd love to know more about your family."

I was too lightheaded to think straight. "My mother never quite understood me." I mumbled. "She always wanted me to be a good noble girl. One that served the Chantry or married another noble."

"Keep talking Ava," Varric said as Cassandra came into view with the horses. When had she left? I couldn't remember. I flinched as Dorian and Cassandra lifted me up and balanced me on my horse.

"She-" I hissed in pain, "She loved me, but it sometimes felt like she cared more about getting me to marry up than she did about if I would have been happy. Did you know that I was taught the old language of Starkhaven? I think my mother had hoped it would gain me favor with one of the Vael family boys before that whole tragedy happened."

"Such is the way of nobles," Cassandra grumbled. "Varric, ride ahead for help. Quickly." My head spun as our horses started moving, Varric galloping quickly ahead. I shut my eyes and swayed in my saddle. Was I going to die? Had I faced down a darkspawn magister and survived a blizzard only to succumb to blood loss? The pain was unbearable.

"Avalina!" Dorian grabbed my shoulder and steadied me on my horse as I fought to stay awake. I could no longer feel the cold. "Keep talking. Please." He pleaded with me

"My mother has tried to arrange marriages for me five times." I slurred. "I always ran the suitors off. I never liked the idea of my family choosing a husband for me so I acted out. It caused a lot of problems and a little bit of animosity among some jilted suitors. That's likely why Josephine has some trouble with a few lords in the Free Marches. I spurned their advances and acted in a very unbecoming manner some years ago." I smiled and thought about how I purposefully acted like a brat to discourage their interests. "My father found it incredibly amusing and my brother often helped me wiggle my way out of a betrothal and often all three of us had to face her wrath together. She would have a fit if she knew that I had feelings for a common person now."

"You are in love with somebody?" Cassandra prodded. I shrugged, still swaying on my horse. "How romantic."

"Love isn't the word I'd use. At least not yet, but they aren't noble—at least by birth— and that would really upset my mother, at least for the first few months if I were ever to pursue anything." I hissed when my horse jostled me. "Am I going to die?" I asked quietly.

"Not if we can help it." Cassandra said sternly. "But keep talking. Skyhold is not far Inquisitor." I could hear more galloping and see horses and people approach. I saw mages, Leliana, and Cullen all in the party in front of us. I smiled as they pulled their horses next to ours. "Thank the Maker!" I heard Cassandra exclaim.

"Inquisitor?" Cullen's voice sounded distant as he pulled up next to me.

"Why are you always next to me every time I'm dying?" I chuckled weakly.

"Inquisitor?!" His shouting was even more distant as my vision faded and I fell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Warmth. I felt warmth wash over my body.

And pain.

So.

Much.

Pain.

Everything was dark and I cried out. My body ached and my left side burned in agony. I whimpered, unable to open my eyes or feel anything beyond the fire licking at my body until I felt something cool brush across my forehead.

Soothing.

There were whispers in my ear that I could not make out as something dulled my pain. The voice was comforting. Familiar.

"Cullen?" I whispered as my pain faded and I drifted back into unconsciousness.

My dreams were restless and filled with dark shapes and eerie feelings, but they did not stick in my memory as I stirred awake. I groaned and opened my eyes to the strong afternoon light pouring through large windows. I was in my bed in Skyhold. A fire crackled in the stone hearth, making the only noise in the entire room. I wondered when I had gotten here and how long I had been asleep. I knew that I couldn't stay like this forever because no matter what had happened, my duties wouldn't wait long for me. I shoved the sheets off my body and sat up. I yelped as a sharp sensation shot through my side. I looked down and saw the bandages wrapped around my waist. Right. That's what happened. I must have had Andraste's favor because I was lucky to be alive.

My legs were wobbly as I made an effort to stand. I must have been alseep for a while for my legs to feel this unstable. Searching around the room I saw that there was a pitcher of water on my desk and I was suddenly acutely aware of how dry my throat felt. I walked over slowly and painfully to pour a glass for myself. Breathing was a bit laborious, but I could still walk. That was good, I could work with that.

After I had my fill of water, I decided to get dressed. The clothes I slept it were damp from sweat and I was sure I had work to do somewhere. It would not do for the Inquisitor to look disheveled. And there were healers that I needed to thank. The process was arduous as I had to be careful not to aggravate my still healing wound. Andraste's tits did it hurt.

A pile of papers sat on my desk needing my attention. I could die and still have paperwork to do. I smiled wryly to myself as I thought I almost did. Sitting down I began to work through the pile, sorting through reports and letters and making stacks to respond to based on importance. The room felt stuffy and my stomach growled, but I didn't have the confidence that I could go down the stairs on my own just yet, not with changing clothes having unexpectedly taken so much healers had patched me up, but I also knew my limits and knew that even with magic, I still needed time to recover.

The door to my chamber creaked open and I heard the padding of leather boots on stone. I could tell who it was by the weight of each step and the jangle of armor. His blond hair poked above the floor as he climbed and a smile cracked across my face as I realized he was probably checking on me.

"Hello Commander." I said steadily.

"Maker's Breath, you're awake!" He exclaimed as he fumbled with something in his hands while he approached my desk. "Uh, the apothecary wasn't sure when you'd wake up, but she said that you should drink this. Its-uh- its supposed to help with any pain you might be feeling." He set a small vial in front of me and watched as I drank it. It was bitter and I heard Cullen snort at my grimace. "She warned me that it was bitter, but said it works." He said as I handed the glass back, my nose still wrinkled from the unpleasant experience.

"I would hope so. I don't want to feel this pain more than necessary. I need to be back to work as soon as I can." I kept writing my response to a report from the Emerald Graves.

"With all due respect Inquisitor, it looks to me like you're already working."

"Yes, but I'm sure Josephine has been putting off the inquiries of nobles for long enough."

"Right, but you need some time to rest. You barely made it here alive." I looked up and saw the genuine concern on Cullen's face. It gave me pause. I remembered seeing that concern after Haven. He must have caught me as I fell from my horse. I unconsciously put my hand to my injured side.

"It will leave a scar." Cullen's voice broke me from my thoughts. He was rubbing his neck. I wondered why he always seemed to do that when we spoke.

"Huh? Oh yes, I figured as much, but it won't be my first." I pointed to the large one that marred the right side of my face. "How long have I been asleep?"

"It's been two days. I- we thought you-" His voice cracked a bit. I knew what he was thinking. His words to me after Haven had conveyed a similar expression.

"I thought I was too. But-" I hissed as I stood. Cullen jumped to help me, but I waved it off. "I must have some unfinished business because the Maker would not take me."

"You need to rest, Inquisitor." Cullen tried to direct me to my bed.

"Nonsense. I can't lay in that bed one moment longer. If I've been asleep for so long, I need to get back out there and show everyone that the Inquisitor is okay. I can't stay up in this tower like some dainty damsel. I need to move around, stretch my muscles, and show people that I'm not killed that easily. You will not stop me on this."

Cullen chuckled and I scowled. "You are a stubborn woman."

"You're just now noticing this?

"Certainly not."

"Good." I nodded before looking at him sheepishly. " Still, I could use some help right now…Would you accompany me to the kitchens? My stomach feels emptier than the Void and stairs might present a challenge. At least until this painkiller starts to work." The pain in my side was dulling, but I still wasn't confident that I could use stairs without help.

"I can go ask someone to send food up to you, Inquisitor." He said before I waved his suggestion away.

"No. I really want to go myself. Please let me have this?"

"If you insist, Inquisitor." He held his hand out to me and I took it. The leather of his glove was soft with years of wear and it brought me an odd feeling of comfort. His grip was steady, but gentle as he assisted me down the stairs until we reached the door to the great hall. I stood straight and opened the door, pretending nothing was wrong as Cullen trailed a few steps behind me. I strode across the hall until the door to the next stairwell was closed behind us.

"Maker's Breath," I huffed, looking at the stairs below us, "Why does this place have to have so many blasted stairs?" Cullen was quick to return his supportive arm to me as we descended again and I smiled, feeling a small jump in my stomach at his help. "Thank you."

"I really must advise against you straining yourself right now, Inquisitor." His voice was tinged with worry and I could feel his steady grasp on me as he continued his assistance.

"Thank you, Commander, but I need to walk around. I'll go absolutely mad otherwise." I found comfort in his touch as he helped me down the stairs. I almost didn't want him to let go as we approached the bottom. We walked to the kitchen door and Cullen took his arm away as he pushed open the door. Warmth and the smell of bread washed over me and my stomach growled loudly. I could feel the embarrassment heat up my face as the Commander snickered under his breath.

"Inquisitor! Commander!" A member of the kitchen staff stumbled as they nearly dropped a tray of fresh bread. "Pardon me! We weren't expecting you."

"No, I apologize for our intrusion!" I said gently as I walked into the inviting room. "I was just hoping to find something to eat for the Commander and myself. We're a tad peckish."

"Certainly your worship. Thanks to Ser Morris we have plenty, please help yourself." I smiled and grabbed two wooden plates for myself and Cullen.

"Thank you." I took some bread, dried meat, cheese, and fruit and waited for Cullen to take any food he may want, although he took less than I did. My stomach was angrily rumbling. We exited the kitchen the way we came and I looked at the stairs leading back to the Great Hall and grimaced. I wasn't willing to deal with that again just yet. "Follow me." I said as I turned and went to a seldom used door. Opening it revealed a room with floor to ceiling shelves filled with books. A dusty tome sat on a desk at the end of the room illuminated by a blue flame. I took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of the old books. I turned to see Cullen curiously looking around.

"Have you ever been in this room before?" I asked.

"I can't say that I have." His voice was quiet as if he were trying not to disturb something ancient.

"Few have. When I found this small library, everything was was covered in cobwebs." I set my plate on the desk and ran my fingers along the spines of tomes long forgotten. "It's become my pet project trying to fix this small room up when I have a few moments to spare and need a quiet place to hide from the rest of Skyhold. Sometimes I'll even come down here to do some work and write letters." I could feel how close Cullen was. The room did not allow for much space between two bodies. "I figured we could sit in here rather than go back up the stairs." I placed my hand on the desk and gingerly lowered myself to the stone floor. Cullen smiled gently and sat down on the ground next to me and I felt a blush bloom across my cheeks.

"Thank you for showing me this, Inquisitor." He said warmly.

"Call me Avalina," I whispered. He was always so formal and it felt wrong in private moments such as this. "At least in private."

"Certainly...Avalina." I had never heard him say my name in all the months that we had known each other. It felt odd, but also it felt right. We had been dancing around each other for months, using our titles to guard our interests… or at least I had been. I was trying to keep my emotions guarded. I couldn't let anything interfere with my responsibilities as Inquisitor. We faced a monumental threat from demons and an ancient darkspawn, and I was the best hope we had of sealing rifts and defeating Corypheus. I couldn't afford to let a romance blossom. Not right now. Not to mention my family. But hearing my name fall from his lips sounded so beautiful and it forced a smile from mine.

We sat in silence for a while, eating in peace before Cullen spoke again.

"Inqui—Avalina," He stopped himself, considering something carefully. "It occurs to me that I do not know much about you."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. " I thought Leiliana would have given you my entire life story when I was a prisoner in Haven." Cullen chuckled.

"Sort of. She told us about your family and background, but that isn't what I meant." He paused, picking at his food. "I meant more about you as a person. Favorite colors, games, and other such things. What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?"

I leaned back against the desk. "Well," I searched my brain for a moment, "I enjoy playing music and reading I suppose. But lately I've found myself enjoying silent walks in the night air or trips down to the tavern to drink and play cards with Varric and the Chargers. They're all small things that distract me from the pressure for a short time."

"I see." Cullen said and fell silent again for a moment, "I know we ask a lot of you. You never asked for this responsibility, but I am proud of far you've come in the months that I've known you. And I know that the others feel much the same." His words were gentle and I found myself blushing again.

"Thank you. I still doubt that I'm the right person for this job, but if Andraste has truly sent me as her Herald, I must do my best for the Inquisition and for Thedas." I sighed. I didn't have a choice. I absolutely had to step forward and take responsibility. No matter how many deaths haunted my dreams or how many doubts weighed on me, I had to remain resolute in the face of the danger we were up against. I had no room to let my fear govern me. Cullen's hand gently patted my shoulder.

"If you ever feel overwhelmed, please feel free to come talk with me. None of us carry our burdens alone, Avalina."

"Thank you Commander."

"Call me Cullen." He let out a soft laugh, "At least in private." I grinned as he threw my own words back at me.

"Very well...Cullen." We stayed in silence for a time as we finished the food on our plates.

The quiet between us wasn't uncomfortable. Quite the opposite. It was easy and reassuring, but it was eventually broken as Cullen stood from the floor. I looked up at him as he offered his hand to help me up. "As much as I enjoy your company, I feel that we will both be missed if we do not return soon." Cullen was right. We both had work to do and my hunger was sated. There was no reason to remain. I took his hand and he gently helped me out my feet while I winced at the now dulled pain in my side. "I'll escort you back to your chambers. Please do not exert yourself too much. You need to heal."

"That's not necessary. I think I can manage by myself now. I want to go speak to some thank you for helping me, Cullen."

"Of course, Avalina." The sound of my name sent chills over my skin. This was not a good idea.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"I'm glad to see that you're doing better." Dorian said as I climbed the stairs to the library. I had just come back from thanking the apothecary and the mages that fixed my wound and ensured I didn't die. "You had me very worried there and that kind of stress is no good for me. You're going to ruin my handsome face by giving me wrinkles and gray hair." He raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms.

I laughed and acted scandalized, humoring his false vanity. "Oh no! We can't have that. You must remain forever youthful looking. How else will we defeat our enemies if not with your killer good looks." I leaned against the bookcase, getting serious once again. "Thank you, Dorian."

"Whatever for?"

"You're the reason I'm standing here right now. You stopped my bleeding before it killed me." I smiled softly. "I'm very grateful to you."

"Nonsense. I simply acted in my own interests. Without you, we have no way to seal the rifts." I could see the relief in his face. I put my hand on his arm and gave it a gentle squeeze before he smiled again."How is it feeling?"

"About as well as it can I suppose. It stings, but our apothecary makes an excellent painkiller that has brought it down to just a dull ache. I imagine it will be nothing more than a scar in a few days."

"That is good to hear. We were all incredibly worried for you considering our dire circumstances. And the fact that you have utterly charmed us all." He looked mischievous and I suddenly felt like I had something to hide. "But in your delirium, you said some things that piqued my interest.".

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh really? I seem to remember you talking about how your mother would have a fit if she found out that you're in love with a common man."

"I- uh," I balked. Had I really said that? Love? No. I didn't even know myself what I felt. "I'm not in love with anyone!" Dorian rolled his eyes.

"Well maybe love is the wrong word, but you did mention feelings and I believe that I heard you whisper a certain name while our healers patched you up." Dorian looked absolutely devious and I could feel a heat rising in my cheeks. "So," he leaned forward and whispered, "Does our illustrious Inquisitor have a taste for strapping young templars?" Chills spread over my body as warmth gathered in my cheeks. I couldn't deny it if I tried. Dorian could always read me like a book.

"Just hush," I hissed, "I'm not even sure of it myself. But I know that I'm not in a position to pursue things like that right now." I shook my head and crossed my arms. Love had no place in my life at the moment.

"That's ridiculous!" Dorian insisted, "Why would you think that?"

"I'm the Inquisitor. I have too many responsibilities to be distracted by frivolous flights of fancy."

"Yes, but you are also a woman. You are entitled to have wants and needs and no one will fault you for that." Dorian softened his voice and looked around. "Come, let us talk elsewhere." Before I could protest, he put a hand between my shoulder blades and pushed me towards the stairs. I rolled my eyes and let him lead me down into the courtyard and up some stairs to the battlements by the tavern. The wind whipped around us and the clash of metal from sparring recruits masked our discussion.

"Dorian, I can't do that. Not with everything the way it is right now." I leaned forward on the wall and sighed. "It just doesn't seem right."

"It's not as if anyone wouldn't understand. The entire world knows what we're up against. Who could fault you for finding a bit happiness with the darkness we face?"

"That's just it! _I_ would fault myself. I can't risk a distraction like that. Not to mention the scrutiny it would put someone under if they were my lover. That wouldn't be fair to them." I put my face in my hands and huffed.

"Honestly Avalina. I think that everyone knows what they would risk if they were with you. No one could possibly go into it blindly." He placed his hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off.

"Dorian, can we drop this? I don't want to think about something like this. I need to focus." I stood up and looked out over the keep, thinking of the people I was meant to protect.

"Fine. But I'm not done with you. You're being ridiculous." Dorian sighed dramatically. "I'm going back to the library. I finally managed to locate that Genitivi volume and I'm eager to read it."

"Thank you for the company, Dorian. I'm going to go see how the others are doing." As he left down the stairs, I went into the tower that lead into the Herald's rest and took a few minutes to check in on Cole, Sera, and Bull. They all seem relieved to see me walking about and Bull asked me to join him for drinks later that night. I told him I'd try to get away from the paperwork and he laughed his hearty and boisterous laugh that always managed to lighten my mood.

Cassandra was outside with the practice dummies as usual, but rather than slashing at them like normal, she was quietly pacing the area in contemplative thought.

"Am I interrupting?" I asked gently, startling her from her reverie.

"Inquisitor! I was not expecting to see you back on your feet so soon." She strode over to me and I flashed a grin.

"Well you know me! I'm hard to kill and don't stay down for long." Cassandra looked at me, evaluating me. "I just wanted to stop by and check on you and see how you were doing."

"I am fine. I am more worried about you. Is it wise to be exerting yourself this much after your injury? You were gravely wounded." She seemed genuinely concerned and it surprised me to see such compassion from her usually stern self.

"I'm doing much better now Cassandra. It hurts, but it's not something to fret over anymore. Our healers did a fine job and I'm only walking. It's not like I'm sparring with the soldiers." She nodded in acceptance.

"I suppose you are right. Still, do not overexert yourself. It will stall the healing process."

"Are you still upset with Varric?" I asked after a moment of silence. Things had been tense between the two of them ever since Hawke had arrived and they had been arguing about it over most of our journey through Crestwood.

"No. I spoke with Hawke and after she told me why she and Fenris remained in hiding, I couldn't really blame Varric for his actions. He is a loyal friend to them."

"I'm glad to hear that. I hate seeing my friends fight." She smiled softly as I called her my friend and I gasped dramatically. "Cassandra! I do believe that was a grin. I'm going to remember this for the rest of my life." Her smile was quickly replaced with a scowl and I laughed. "Don't worry Seeker, I'll leave you be now. I'm sure you have something to attend to. Maybe an apology to our dear dwarven friend? Let me know if you need anything." I waved goodbye and walked towards the stables to go check on Blackwall.

I didn't stay long to speak with him because he seemed occupied with his woodwork and I did not wish to impose so we simply exchanged a few pleasantries and I told him of the Warden's in Crestwood and of Stroud. He was upset at the Wardens leaving the citizens to the undead, but I did not press him on the matter and left soon after.

After Blackwall, I headed back to the great hall to go speak with the last of my companions. Solas was cool and calm as usual and expressed that he was glad to see me doing well. Leiliana was just as calm, carefully assessing me for any sign of permanent damage. I simply laughed and told her I was feeling fine. Vivienne was diplomatic as she chastised me for not being more cautious, but I could tell she was still happy to see that I was healing quickly.

Varric was more colorful in his expression of relief.

"Maker's balls you bounce back quickly." He said as I approached him by the hearth. "Nothing keeps you down for long huh?" I chuckled and sat in the chair he gestured to across from his.

"Not with healers like ours. I'm pretty sure they brought me back from the dead this time. Remind me to ask Josie if we can give them a raise." I leaned back and took in a deep breath. The stinging pain in my side was starting to get worse so I knew the bitter potion I drank earlier was wearing off, but at least I didn't have to deal with anymore flights of stairs for the moment. "So I spoke with Cassandra."

Varric looked up at me and crossed his arms. "Is she still pissed?"

"Not so much. She isn't punching anything and she told me that she spoke with Hawke. You're apparently a very loyal friend." I said with a small smile. "I hope I can count on you just as much as Hawke does when shit goes south." Varric chuckled and took a swig out of his mug.

"Don't worry. I wouldn't want to be the poor bastard on your bad side." I snorted.

"Varric, I'm not sure you could ever be on my bad side. You're just too charming for me to ever hate." I gave him a wink.

"Inquisitor, are you flirting with me?" He leaned forward, "Because I am spoken for." The humor in his voice was unmistakable.

"I wouldn't dream of stealing you away from Bianca, Varric. What woman could compete with such a fine crossbow?" He chuckled again and I moved to stand up. "As much as I would love to stay here and ask for a story or two, I must go speak with Josephine. I'm sure she has something that needs my attention."

"Alright, Songbird. Don't let me keep you." I stopped and looked at him quizzically.

"Songbird?"

"Your new nickname. I've been pondering it for a few days. I think it fits with the whole musical thing you showed us. And maybe it'll encourage you to play for us some more." I rolled my eyes.

"I'll take it. Better than "Inquisitor" anyhow." I bid farewell to him and make my way over to Josephine's office.

After her initial fretting and my assuring her that I was indeed okay, She settled down and began to list what I had missed while I was away and while I had been unconscious.

"I am pleased to see that you are feeling better. We've had a few more noble families pledge their support while you were away and we've managed to stabilize the Hinterlands. With the Inquisition camps through the area and the Arl back at Redcliffe castle, the rogue mages and templars should no longer pose a threat. There has also been a significant decrease in bandit activity in Crestwood."

"I would certainly hope so. We cleared out their fortress and purged them from the roads. I wouldn't expect much out of them after that."

"Yes, well you mustn't rest on your laurels. But the travelers and citizens of the area are grateful nonetheless. You did a lot of good work in the area and garnered much favor for our cause. Even the Chantry sisters have voiced their support."

" Well that's good to hear. The more chantry voices we have supporting us, the better the people will view us and the easier our job will be."

"Indeed, Your Worship."

"Is there anything else that I need to know?"

"Nothing that can't wait until tomorrow at the war table. You will be there I assume." She looked up at me expectantly.

"I will. If that's all, I'll take my leave and let you be. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Inquisitor."

As I was exiting Josephine's office, I nearly collided with a messenger. They apologized and handed me a vial.

"Commander Cullen said that you might be needing this. It's for the pain my lady." He stood up straight and saluted as I took the small vial.

"Give the Commander my thanks. This is helpful."

"Yes, Inquisitor." He turned on his heel and walked away. I looked at the small glass and sighed, knowing the taste that was soon to come, but as Cullen had probably predicted, the pain in my side was creeping back up and making it harder to move without flinching. I made my way back up to my chambers before I gratefully uncorked the vial and drank the potion.

The pile of papers on my desk taunted me as I once again began to read reports and write response letters. Harding was in the Western Approach scouting the area and had set up a base camp for us move forward from. My mother inquired about my health and urged me to be cautious while my brother had sent me a letter warning me that some very distant relatives in the Free Marches were trying to use my name to advance themselves and strongarm others. I wrote back to my mother that I was well and gave her a brief summary of the events in Crestwood. I told my brother that I would find a way to handle it and asked that he do his best to keep my name and the Inquisition's out of the mouths of those who would try to use it to their advantage.

As the light of day was fading beyond the horizon outside my windows, I finished writing my last letter. I rolled my neck around and stood up to stretch my legs. I ran my fingers over the books that filled the shelves behind my desk before I remembered Bull's invitation to join him and the Chargers at the Herald's Rest for a drink.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Your Worship." Krem greeted me as I opened the door to the Herald's rest. He and a few other Chargers were all gathered around a table with Varric, Hawke, Sera, and Dorian, playing cards. I grinned and walked over to them.

"Boss!" The Iron Bull bellowed as he made his way to the table carrying a couple of mugs in his hands. "I'm glad you could make it!" He set the mugs down and passed them to those that didn't already have a drink in hand.

"Wouldn't miss it, Bull. I'm going to go grab a drink. Don't let anything stupid happen without me here to see." He laughed as I smiled and casually walked over to Cabot at the bar.

"What're you drinking?" The dwarf asked gruffly, his expression unamused as usual.

"Hmmmm, just the standard Fereldan ale. I'm a woman of simple taste." He grunted and filled a mug for me to take back to the table. I thanked him, put a few coppers on the bar and made my way back over to my friends.

"So, what is everyone playing?" I inquired as I pulled a chair towards the table.

"Wicked Grace. What else?" Varric answered. "Want me to deal you in?"

I looked at the deck of cards with trepidation. It was well known among my friends that I was an awful "I think I'll take some time to watch. I don't remember the rules very well."

"Ah come on, you can remember as you play." He nudged me and I rolled my eyes. "We aren't even playing for money this round, just stories."

I looked around at the faces of my expectant friends. "Alright fine." At least all I put at risk was my dignity.

"Atta girl," Hawke gave me a gentle pat on the back and smiled. I took a swig of my drink and looked at my cards. My hand wasn't great, but I could bluff my way through for a while. We laughed as Varric and Hawke told tales of their adventures in Kirkwall for a solid hour.

"Sera, please think about it!" Bull said out of nowhere, gaining the attention of the table.

"No way! I'm not lettin ya launch me through the air! I like havin workin legs."

"But the mayhem Sera, think of the mayhem." Bull pounded his fist on the table, rattling our drinks.

"Damn it Tiny, you're still on about this?" Varric smirked from behind his mug. "Who on this planet would be reckless enough to let you literally throw them behind enemies?" Hawke slowly raised her hand with a grin. Varric's mouth pressed into a thin line. "Why did I even ask. You're a madwoman."

The Iron Bull guffawed and I could hear Krem snort from the other end of the table. "Sorry Hawke, you'd be too heavy. That's why I'm asking Sera! She's light enough that I could toss her! Come on Sera, I know you want to try it!"

"No. Way. I'm crazy, not stupid." She shouted over Hawke's complaints asking if Bull was calling her fat and I couldn't help but smile. Sera and the Qunari wall had been having this argument for months.

"Ah fine," The Iron Bull waved it off, disappointed. "Anyone else need another drink?" He asked, standing up with his own mug. I lifted mine up and cheesed a smile.

"I need another mug if I'm going to get drunk enough to keep company with you lot!"

"You got it, Boss! But if you're aiming to get drunk, you need something strong. None of that ale that takes forever for you to even feel the warm. I know just the thing." He stared at me pointedly and I knew I was going to regret letting Bull choose my booze, but I agreed nonetheless because I knew whatever he picked was bound to help me loosen up.

"Oh frig, Quizzie. You're gonna hate yourself in the mornin!" Sera giggled and snorted. "Bull only drinks the strongest stuff." I shrugged.

"Seriously, Your Worship," Krem shouted from down the table. "He once brought me a cup of mead that burned my throat and the next thing I remember was waking up under a table." A round of laughter erupted from the group at the image of Krem literally drunk under the table.

"Are you saying that you don't think I, The Herald of Andraste, can hold my alcohol?" I shouted, puffing out my chest in pride.

"Don't say we didn't warn you when you regret this later!" Krem laughed and I just raised my hands in acceptance. Bull returned with his drink and mine. I took a sniff of the brew and felt the walls of my nostrils burn. I took a fast gulp and nearly choked as the brew stung my nose and throat, leaving a trail of fire.

"Fuck!" I spluttered as the Iron Bull laughed and Sera snorted. Hawke gently patted my back, but I could feel her shaking with held back laughter. "What is this stuff, Bull?"

"A Chasind brew. Some of the strongest Southern drink you'll ever have."

"Maker's Breath, it stings." I steeled myself and took another drink, the pain less this time. I could feel the warmth spreading across my face as the alcohol began taking effect. "But I guess that means it'll do the job."

"You're damn right it will." Hawke cheered and held up her own mug to smack against mine.

We all drank and I could feel my body warming and I knew that I was in for a fun evening. Krem started talking about some of the scars he had gathered during his time with the Chargers and Bull told to story of how he lost his eye helping Krem. Hawke stood and lifted her shirt over her stomach to show us a scar she had left over from some bandit on the wounded coast and Sera gave a whistle of approval at the lack of modesty from the Champion. It seemed like everyone had interesting stories regarding the large scars they sported from their adventures and I thought about the ones I had. My soon to be newest scar was from my own incompetence and wasn't something I was going to be proud of. I lifted my hand to my face and gently traced the large scar that had marred my right cheek. It wasn't a pretty scar, running from my ear to across my nose, but it was the one that I wore with pride.

"What about you Ava?" Dorian asked. "I don't believe you've ever told us the story of how you got that one." He tapped his cheek in the same place that I was tracing the puckered skin on mine. I smiled and thought for a moment about how to best tell the story.

I was just about to begin the tale when the tavern door opened and Cullen walked in. I was surprised for just a moment before The Iron Bull shouted, calling for Cullen to join us. Of all the people in Skyhold, Cullen was one of the last I expected to see in the Herald's Rest. He smiled and scanned the faces of those at the table and a faint look of surprise crossed his face when his eyes met mine. My face was suddenly warm from more than just the Chasind brew and for a moment I thought I saw a tinge of pink across his cheeks before he regained his composure.

"Inquisitor." He acknowledged me as he grabbed a chair and joined us.

"Commander." I nodded, taking another drink, wincing, and looking at my cards, trying to avoid his gaze.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" I could hear the gentle concern in his voice and I looked up from my abysmal hand.

"I'm alright. I got the ok from the healers to move around as long as I don't strain myself for a few more days. And the potion you sent me is definitely helping. Thank you for that by the way." I smiled and say the worry on his face lessen.

"You're welcome." He smiled at me and I'm sure my cheeks turned pinker than dawnstone, but if anyone noticed, they didn't say anything. Cullen turned to Varric, "Is it too late to be dealt in?"

"We're almost done with this round so we can deal you in after this, Curly. You got here just in time, Ava here was about to tell us how she got that scar." The dwarf nodded towards me. Cullen raised his eyebrows and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I got it a few years back in a seedy Ostwick tavern." I drank the last of my pint and continued. "I was about sixteen and foolish. I had snuck out of my family's manor to go meet with a dashing young kitchen boy for a few drinks and a possible toss in the hay."

"Tsk tsk Inquisitor," Dorian said, leaning forward. "How unladylike of you." I laughed and gave a snort.

"I knew that, why do you think I had snuck out? Anyway, I was enjoying my time pretending that I wasn't the daughter of a Bann when there was shouting at the back of the tavern. Some asshole had apparently pinched the ass of a barmaid and she was yelling at him while he laughed and kept grabbing at her. Everyone else was just staring into their drinks or food, trying to ignore the commotion at the back. Needless to say, I wasn't going to ignore it, so I stood from my table. The kitchen boy- Gerard- tried to pull me back, but I smacked his hand away. I wasn't going to leave some poor girl to deal with that alone." I stopped for a moment to pull another card and see if it did anything to help my hand. It didn't.

"Well?" Bull prodded, pushing my shoulder.

"I held my head high and marched right over to the man sitting at his table and demanded that he leave the young barmaid alone. Of course, I held no authority in his eyes, so he stood up and let me tell you that I about shit my pants when he did." Hawke laughed and Cullen ran his hand over his face, sensing where this story was headed. "That man was much larger than I was anticipating. I had to crane my neck to look up at him and he was about twice as wide as I was, but like I said, I was young and foolish so I took a deep breath and stood my ground. He asked me to repeat myself in a very threatening manner, but I was just as stubborn back then as I am now and I said Leave this young lady alone or I will make you. He didn't like that. Luckily, my father had insisted that I have some sort of combat training when I turned fifteen, so my reflexes were quick enough and the man was at least a little drunk and off balance. He threw a punch and I ducked under his arm and behind him where I boxed his ears. He shouted obscenities and everyone around us scattered as we entered into a regular tavern brawl with him mostly punching and me mostly ducking and feinting. Eventually he got frustrated and pulled a small knife from his belt and took another swing at me. I misjudged how far the blade would be from my face as I tried to lean away from his swing and he sliced me open from my ear to my nose. I ducked and got behind him one last time where I picked up a stool and hit him across the face with it as he turned around. That knocked him out and a city guard came running into the tavern. Apparently Gerard had gone to fetch one as soon as the man stood up. I got taken to an apothecary to stitch up the cut and he was arrested for assault when the patrons agreed that he had started the fight. However, I still got in considerable trouble with my parents when they saw the wound the next morning at breakfast. But that tavern never had a problem with him again."

The Iron Bull let out a hearty laugh and everyone chuckled with him. I looked up at Cullen and saw that he was staring at me, studying the scar before Varric spoke.

"Well I'm going to file that story away in my memory to write down later. Inquisitor Trevelyan, gallant and reckless hero of the little guy. The title may need some work and the story definitely needs some embellishment, but the meat is there."

I rolled my eyes, took one last look at my cards and knew that I wouldn't be able to bluff my way out of that hand.

"I fold. I'm going to go get a drink. Anyone need another?" I stood up and Bull, Sera, and Krem handed me their mugs. I looked at Cullen. "What's your poison, Commander?"

"Oh, uh...Just ale." He smiled shyly and rubbed his neck. I nodded and took the mugs back to Cabot.

"Same stuff?" He asked. I nodded.

"But uh, just give me ale again oh, and one more for the Commander." I didn't think i could handle another of Bull's brew, I feared i was already wobbling from the first one. Cabot took our mugs and filled them wordlessly and handed me a new tankard for Cullen.

"Do you need help with that?" Cullen's graveled voice came from behind me. "I figured you could use an extra set of hands for five full drinks."

"Please?" I smiled sheepishly and the Commander returned my smile before taking three of the cups. "Thank you." He nodded and I placed my coins on the bar before we walked to the table where we set down the drinks. I could feel his shoulder almost unbearably close as he moved back to his seat across from me. How I wished it could be closer. I gave my head a small shake and giggled as I passed the drinks out, trying to remove certain thoughts from my mind.

"Are you okay, Inquisitor?" Cullen asked. Of course he would notice, just my luck.

"Of course, just feeling the hum of a pleasant drink is all." I grinned, feeling a blush spread over my neck and chest. I wasn't lying exactly, that Chasind brew was definitely coursing through my body and clouding my thoughts, but Cullen didn't need to know what those thoughts were.

I took my seat as Varric dealt a new hand. The area was strangely quiet as we all took a moment to study our cards and it hit me.

"Where's Maryden? I just realized she isn't here." It felt even weirder now that I finally noticed why there wasn't any music playing. Maryden was in here playing almost every night.

"Oh, she's sick." Krem quickly replied. I raised my eyebrow at him and saw his ears turn red. "I mean, uh, so I've heard."

"Suuuure Krem." Bull drawled and Sera cackled.

"Stop tryna to hide it. Anyone can tell you fancy her by the way you look at her from your little chair. I bet you were visiting her earlier to check on her." Sera said as she leaned back in her chair, her face flush from alcohol. Krem was turning red for a different reason. Poor fellow. I guess I wasn't the only one dealing with feelings of fancy.

"Well she's a lovely lady so I can see the appeal." Dorian said casually. "And there's nothing wrong with finding someone that makes you happy." He looked pointedly at me and I didn't meet his gaze, focusing instead on a suddenly fascinating knot in the wooden table. I looked up and met Cullen's eyes for a split second before darting mine away.

"Dorian's right Krem, the world is dark enough, especially right now. Take your happiness where you can find it." Cullen said and I looked back at my friends. Krem had his face in his hands and Bull was smiling like a knowing father at his son. I took a swig from my mug, the conversation was getting uncomfortably familiar.

"Well I hope she gets better soon. The tavern feels a little empty without her music." I put a tokens into the pile, " I raise."

"Alright, Songbird. I'll see that bet." Varric threw his own tokens into the pile.

"Songbird?" Hawke asked. Varric laughed.

"Oh yeah. She sang for us a few days back when we were in the mountain camp. Dorian can tell you. It was unexpected that's for sure, but I've gotta hand it to her. She sounded pretty good."

"It was quite amusing. After hearing her yell at demons so often, it shocked me that she could make a sound so pleasant." Dorian deadpanned and I laughed.

"No way." Bull stated. "No offense Boss, but you do not seem like the musical type. Too rough around the edges." I opened my mouth to respond, but Hawke beat me to it.

"I dunno. I could see it." She replied. "I've seen weirder things happen."

I wasn't sure if it was pride or the alcohol, but I actually started to feel offended. "What's so odd about it? I had passions and interests before the Inquisition. My life didn't always revolve around slaying demons and leading the faithful." I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes.

"Well I'd like to hear it." Cullen said smoothly, taking a long drink from his cup. I remembered telling him that I enjoyed playing music earlier that day and was glad that he seemed to trust that I could do it. "If Varric and Dorian and you say that you can, then I believe it, but Bull clearly needs more convincing." He smiled at me and I suddenly felt a surge of confidence.

"You know what, fine! What have I got to lose? Wait here. I'm gonna ask Cabot for some spoons." I really hoped I wouldn't regret doing that.

Bull laughed and slapped the table. "What do you need spoons for?!" I simply smiled.

"You'll see." I turned and walked to the bar, "Cabot, I need two metal spoons." He raised his eyebrows at me, but handed me two spoons regardless. I puffed out my chest and strode back to my friends. "Listen and learn." I stared at The Iron Bull and adjusted the spoons between my fingers until I had them placed just right.

I propped one leg up on my chair and began clacking out a rhythm with the spoons resting between my fingers on my right hand and hitting them between my left hand and my thigh. I looked Bull dead in the eye and started singing an old Free Marches song.

"'S é'n trua nach mise, nach mise

'S é'n trua nach mise bean Pháidín

'S é'n trua nach mise, nach mise

'S an bhean atá aige bheith caillte

Rachainn go Gallaí go Gallaí

Is rachainn go Gallaí le Pháidín

Rachainn go Gallaí go Gallaí

Is thiocfainn abhaile sa mbád leis

'S é'n trua nach mise, nach mise

'S é'n trua nach mise bean Pháidín

'S é'n trua nach mise, nach mise

'S an bhean atá aige bheith caillte

Rachainn go haonach an Chlocháin

Is siar go Béal Á' na Báighe

Bhreathnóinn isteach tríd an bhfuinneog

A' súil is go bhfeicfinn bean Pháidín

'S é'n trua nach mise, nach mise

'S é'n trua nach mise bean Pháidín

'S é'n trua nach mise, nach mise

'S an bhean atá aige bheith caillte

Go mbristear do chosa, do chosa

Go mbristear do chosa 'bean Pháidín

Go mbristear do chosa, do chosa

Go mbristear do chosa 's do chnámha

'S é'n trua nach mise, nach mise

'S é'n trua nach mise bean Pháidín

'S é'n trua nach mise, nach mise

'S an bhean atá aige bheith caillte

Chaith mé mo bhróga, mo bhróga

Chaith mé mo bhróga i ndiaidh Pháidín

Chaith mé mo bhróga, mo bhróga

Chaith mé na boinn is na sála."

I set my spoons down and laughed with Varric and Dorian at the dumbfounded look on Bull's face. "Alright" He said as he raised his hands in surrender, "You got me. Where did you learn that?"

"A minstrel in Ostwick taught that one to me. It's not as pretty a song as it sounds though." I drained the rest of my mug. "It's a song in one of the old languages of the Free Marches. The song is a girl singing about how she's upset that the man she wanted to marry decided to marry another woman and how she wishes his wife's ankles were broken."

"She must have been a charming lady." Dorian said flatly from behind his cup and Cullen let out a snort and coughed as he choked on some of his ale, causing laughter to erupt from the rest of the group.

"Yes well, who hasn't dealt with a crazy lover or want-to-be suitor at least once in their life?" I chuckled.

"Here's to that." Hawke raised her glass and a few of us all gave a toast to ridiculous lovers. The conversation remained easy for the next hour with Sera and Bull making lewd jokes that would make any sailor blush and Dorian giving me knowing looks anytime I exchanged a word with the Commander. I finished off another ale and made the decision to retire for the evening.

"Alright," I groaned as I stood from my seat, feeling the ground shift ever so slightly beneath my feet, "I should take my leave, I actually have to wake up before mid-day tomorrow. Unlike some of you." I stretched my arms into the air and stumbled to the side, catching myself on Hawke's shoulders. "Sorry!" I exclaimed as I leveled myself again.

"Here, let me escort you. I must take my leave as well." Cullen stood from the table and waited for me to reach him. I turned to the group at the table and grinned.

"Goodnight everyone! Don't let Bull pick a drink for you!" I laughed and began to walk to the door as Cullen said his farewells and a chorus of goodbye's reached my ears.

"Inquisitor, wait." Cullen's large strides brought him to my side as I exited the tavern into the cool night air. "Are you feeling alright?"

I took in a deep breath and beamed at the Commander. "I'm feeling great, Cullen. Bull just gave me a really strong drink earlier in the night and I can still feel it coursing through my body. But you don't need to escort me anywhere. Now that I'm out here, I'd actually kind of like to just relax and feel the night air before going to bed. Skyhold is always peaceful at night because almost no one is in the courtyard."

"Well then, may I keep you company?" The question was surprisingly bold and I looked at him with wide eyes and I could immediately see his cheeks turn red and his hand go to his neck. "I mean, I don't have to of course. I can leave you be if you prefer."

Before I could stop myself, I giggled. "Nonsense. I welcome your company." I rubbed my arm, a nervous tick, and looked out towards the gate to avoid Cullen's eyes. How could he always make me so nervous, but still captivate me so? He made keeping my distance from him so difficult and I loved it. I walked over to the wall that overlooked the ledge and leaned against it. A breeze carried the scent of oiled leather from the stables and fluttered through my loose curls. I stood in silence as Cullen leaned next to me. We remained in silence for a while as I sorted through my thoughts and worked to clear my mind.

"Avalina, is something troubling you?" Cullen's voice was soft and he rested a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm not sure. But I'm starting to think that Dorian may have a point." I stood up and turned to Cullen. "Well, I feel like I'm steady enough to make it to my room without help. Thank you for the company, even if I was silent." I smiled and pushed myself up. Cullen nodded at me and I and walked to the great hall and my chambers where I promptly fell asleep thinking that maybe, just maybe I could allow myself some happiness in these dark times.

 **Authors Note:** It's a headcannon of mine that the Free Marches sort of parallel Ireland/Scotland/Wales and would have a lot of Celtic influences in their music and they would have old languages similar to Gaelic, Welsh, etc. So the old Free Marchers song that Avalina sings is actually a celtic song called _Bean Phaidin._ I would highly recommend listening to a few different recordings of it because it's entertaining and lots of people have interpreted it in different ways.


End file.
